10 years.

Some people with trust issue can't easily trust people. Somehow, one will have to believe at people in order to survive. It doesn't have to trust 100%, but just have some faith and trust people. Here's a story about my BFF. I didn't really trust him but sometimes, he is the only one that always be there for me. Since we were kid, he always prank me and that's why i don't really trust him. But when we grow older, year by year, he is the one who understand me & knows everything abt me. Sometime i feel bad that i'm not there by his side, to listen to his story or his lame joke. Since he is my childhood friend, we have a lot of memory tgt. Can't describe how valuable you are to me, but i always want u to know that i'm thankful to have you in my life :')

Choice

Camp just finished and i'll never forget it.1st year with them as a Camp Assistant (CA) is very very different. It's not  about you but it's all about youth. Look at the youth made a different makes me feel very happy and proud. Sometimes, we don't know one potential because they didn't show it. Different people, different background. One important thing that they got in the camp is supportive values. They support each other. They're always be a positive person. They're always care among each other. No way i can forget this camp. No way i can forget KYC. Because they've teach me a lot and make a vary difference in me. I feel more confident and I know that they're always ppl that will support me.

One last thing, this is the quote that i hold on during camp, "it's ur choice to make a difference".

Groupwork

      Bila nak cerita pasal groupwork ni, sebenarnya bukan tak suka kerja berkumpulan, cuma taksuka bila member takde responsibility nak siapkan kerja. Kalau kita avoid pun tak guna, sebab in future you're gonna face the same people jugak. Let say dalam situasi, kau pilih untuk avoid dari kerja kumpulan, tak rasa kau lari dari tanggungjawab ke? And at the end kerja tu tak siap jugak macam expectation kau. Apa kau buat? Macam mana nak selesaikan? Itulah, nak kata kat sini, orang macam ni (yang akan jumpa lagi pada masa depan) kalau bukan sama physically, sama mentally. One amazing friend said to me, "Kau akan jumpa jugak orang macam ni nanti, kalau kau lari sekarang, in future boleh jadi more worst."  What I learned dalam kerja berkumpulan ni, each person dalam group tu takboleh selfish.

      For the sake of peaceful in group, everyone has to be honest kot. Kerja kalau depan senyum belakang kutuk tak guna gak. Padahal satu group kan. Okay macam teruk sangat guna istilah kutuk. Dia tukar jadi topik perbualan yang barulah bila ada perasaan tak puas hati dengan groupmate sendiri.  Betul? Tapi bual dengan orang lain, dia takkan bual dengan orang yang bermasalah tu. Kita ambik positive side dari situasi ni. Sebenarnya mungkin dia nak bagi tahu yang dia tak suka cara tu, tapi takut member tersinggung mungkin. Tu wujud gossip tu. Responsibility and awareness are the most important thing beb. Takde dua ni, lingkup la kerja group tu. Mungkin kena cari solusi lain. Belum cukup dengan pandang kelemahan orang, mungkin refleksi diri tu salah satu solusi. Mana tahu kan?

The End, Assalamualaikum.

Feelings.

Humans are born with feelings. Seriously i've been stressed out lately bcs of my surrounding. I've been thinking so much. Idk it's how to settle all the problems or run from problems. I've tried the second choice; run away from problem. Trust me, it'll not workout. I became more stressful and feel like dying. If u think that ran from problem will make u feel ease, it'll not. Ive faced the consequences bcs running from problem, and i bet that isn't a good choice. I'm looking for solutions to all problem, but i didn't find any. Either the solutions are there or not, sometimes it's just me who don't wanna solve the puzzle. Cs i think i can't. That's why human can't survive alone, he or she needs someone to be there for him/her as his/her shoulder.

Messed up.

So many things to share for this time entry :)

     First of all, Alhamdulillah. I'm glad that I've been discharged from the hospital on Monday, 9th May 2k16. No more staying in the hospital pls after this haha. That's the lesson when you bought rollerblade without your mother permission, end up with broken arm and admitted to the hospital.

     Secondly, the feeling when you have to study for your final exam during your semester break is really like ...... (y'all know what) But just take this as a positive side. Quiet challenging tho cs when you study using your laptop and end up watching movie. What the... haha Whatever it is, maybe God wanna lemme think thoroughly what I've done during last semester. Yea i think last semester went through pretty well. It's just I've got less concentration on my studies and busy handling other things that less important than my studies. I didn't perform well for the other subject cs I failed to manage time. I rly need a time table in order to be better in time management. So, i've got abt 20 days to study for two paper and i've got to do something with that. I can't let my day past just like that fill up with movies, sleeping and do unnecessary stuff. C'mon, you'll regret when the result comes out. You'll ruin your future. So, study when you still have time cs time not gonna wait for you.

     Last but not least, I'm happy that my arm getting better day by day. I can move it but still limited to few movement only. Few days bfr, I was sad cs I thought that I can never be able to move my hand like normal. I gave up and cried. I was thinking abt so many things and I messed up. Mix feeling. Confused. Overthink. I'm really really really messed up. I don't know how to help myself that time. But today I know the reason why. I forgot my actual life. Too much daydreaming. I'm slave of God. My parents sacrificed a lot. Look up to their dream. Their wishes. Their pray. What I've done was I put hope to people that can't help me at all. Such waste of time thinking of the problem that is actually not a problem at all. But now I've stop mess with the thing and move on.

Fuh.  What a relief. The end.

Lesson learned

Being hospitalized almost two week is really really teach me about patience. I never been admitted to a hospital before, so this is my first time. Many things happen around. I learned many lessons here. I learned to be independent. Settle down all your stuff  using one hand is not easy, in addition, its limited.Here's an interesting thing to share. Since I admitted here, i can see that I have many people who love and care for me. They came and visited me, even though they are far from the hospital. That is what you get when you always care to every one around you.So after this, I will always care and love people around me. Try not to hurt anyone. Thank you to all of them especially my lovely amazing mother who always be there for me. My bestie who came visit me everytime he got free time, even though he is busy with his work. My chess buddy that always make me smile with his  lame joke. Nurses here are very nice, I cant imagine that I'm one of them. Woa, really cant imagine. Their patience and dedication in work really challenging. Other patients in my cubicle are friendly, and they're nice. Really appreciate them. I  love people that exist in my entire life. Nothing can express how much i love them. Thanks guys for the memories. I'll gone, but the memories stay.

Hospitalized

Sad thing, i was hospitalized thooooo. Been here for whole week ald. I miss my home, my roommates, my classmates, my chess mate, all my mate and collages. Well, many things happen in a week that really change my life. What do i expect are things that make me happy but nah, its vice versa.

USELESS

This time I wrote a blog about me talking to myself. Hope this sharing may open your mind and heart J

Banyaknya assignment. Stress weh. Serious. Dengan final exam lagi, portfolio day minggu depan. Kau punya drawing semuaaaa taksiap lagi. Banyak benda lagi nak redo. Axonometric drawing tak complete. One point perspective, two ppoint perspective. Haa nak senarai semua kang bukan faham pun. Hahaha. Last week dah la banyak kali skip class. Summary ict tak hantar lagi. Notes irk malas nak buat. Assignment study skill nak kena sumbit next week eventhough skip class. APA KAU NAK DUH IN FUTURE? Have you ever think about your parents feeling bila dia tau apa kau buat selama ni dekat cfs tu? Like seriously thou, if you keep doing this, you’ll get no future. Okay you decide to went back home and left your assignment behind, dengan harapan, kau jumpa something yang boleh buat kau sedar. Okay nice lah. Let see what’s next. The story begin, bila sampai rumah, mama so excited to tell her story about what happen to her recently. You know what, her story rly made me cry thou. Seriously. She stands all the harsh word at her workplace and be patience just because she think of you! At that time, memang aku clueless gila terfikir balik apa yang aku buat recently. Skip class, tak focus in class, tak submit assignment, late to class an etc. Mana pergi her beloved daughter that she proud of? Her beloved daughter that made her smile before in her school time? Mana pergi semua tu? Regret. Banyak sangat masa terbuang, buat benda yang tak membantu langsung. Banyak sangat masa terbuang yang buat aku lalai. Lepastu, cakap takde masa. Actually, bukan takde masa, masa tu yang tak berkat. Seriously. Nasib baik lah this week balik rumah, eventhough kejap, tapi impact dia sangat deep. I have to be strong. Stop giving excuses yang berlambak tu. Takguna pun, last last, kau jugak yang rugi. Then, menyesal lagi dan lagi tapi still buat lagi. The most important, baiki balik hablumminallah. Tu utamanya, jaga hubungan dengan manusia tapi hubungan dengan Allah kelaut takguna weh. Sumpah. Hm, dahlah kot. Lega dapat balik this week. Sangat membantu. Mama made me strong again and again. Thankyou mum. Always love you.